The Most Important Place On Earth

So recently, I've been struggling with connecting with my teenager. This age calls for more intentionality as most of the time he wants to be in his room with the music turned up or socializing with his friends. I remember being this age so I don't think he's a lost soul. However, when I do try to connect with him and on the rare occasion that he opens up to share, as a parent, my response often comes off sounding like I'm "lecturing". I immediately want to instruct him on how he could have or should have handled a given situation differently. Yes, he actually used the word "lecture" to describe his conversations with me.  

What I think maybe we're missing as parents with our teenager is that we don't spend enough time getting to know him face to face outside of the side by side problem-solving that goes on with him in the daily grind. But more importantly, we haven't been leaving much room for grace. As parents, we have been given these children as gifts, only for a time. God has instructed us to be good stewards of our gifts and He has entrusted us to gently guide them and instruct them along the way. This is THE most important job we will ever have and it's important for us to remember that we can not make them into who or what we think they should be. Instead, we must guide them to figure out who God made them to be and provide them with a safe place to do so. Ephesians 6:4  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.







Recently, I was given this book as a gift from a friend. This friend loves on me consistently by her deep desire to share the things she's learned while creating her own Christian home. Although, she is younger than me, I look up to her and I'm always struck by her intentionality in the ways she conducts her home with her husband and four children. I love this quote from the book: "You get only one shot at creating something special just inside your front door."

In light of the context of this book and learning new ways to connect with my teenager but also with my youngest son and with my husband, and just getting into some better rhythms in general, I searched and found some really neat ideas. The internet is crawling with ways to start conversations with your kids at the dinner table. Here is a website with a link for some great open-ended conversation starters that you can print out and start using immediately to help you be more intentional with your kids.

http://beautyandbedlam.com/conversation-starter-questions/

We're not striving for 100% participation 100% of the time. It's just not practical. Each of the kids has sports during the week and we have other appointments and meetings that don't provide enough room for us to sit down every night and have an open discussion. But, I am hopeful and I think it gives us a good place to start. Maybe it will draw more than the typical response to, "What's your favorite thing about school?" As to which my teenager responds, "Lunch". When I further ask, "Why is it your favorite?" He answers, "Because we get to eat."

One thing I would like to be consistent with and I'm striving for 100% on this one, is asking the following questions of each family member every night.

There is almost nothing that is as powerful as having a friend or family member pray with you and for you out loud in your presence. My friends have done it with me, my husband has done it with me and it connects us on a level that is indescribable. For we know this:

Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down,

    one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

    and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

    But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

    two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Jesus also tells us this in Matthew 18:20  that "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

So, here's to more intentionality, more connecting, more loving, more grace, lots of grace, more face to face and more of Jesus in our home in 2014!

Come Away With Me

Negril, Jamaica

On this day, 7 years ago, on February 7th 2007, barefoot on a sandy beach at sunset, I said, "I do"! We danced to Come Away With Me by Norah Jones and I thanked him for loving on my children and for taking on the tremendous challenge of becoming a blended family. I thank God every day for loving me through him. Today he wrote me the sweetest love letter ever! It has been the greatest blessing to grow in our faith together. Though life together is not always as romantic as the day we wed, and though many storms have come and gone and surely more will come, we remain committed. He is always pursuing me just as my heavenly father is always pursuing me and he never gives up. My heart is so full. What a ride!