Out of FUEL

This is a deeply personal post for me and by writing it out, it gives me a release of energy that is healing to my spirit.

The devil came after me on Thursday and I let him get the best of me. This came in the morning, the day after I felt a nudge by the Holy Spirit to forgive someone. No sooner than I had forgiven a person that had been on my heart for over a year now, when BAM! The enemy attacked from a different angle. I know now, looking back, that I was out of fuel and I was not ready for the challenge of the attack. I let myself get run down earlier in the week with too many things that I was trying to manage and simply ran out of fuel. Instead of putting my trust in my Heavenly Father, I tried to handle it all on my own. 

There are 3 things that I am fiercely passionate about: 

1. My children and their well being.   
2. Injustice
3. And most important, my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. 

All three of these came under attack last Thursday and it took me from being a lamb to roaring like a lion in about 2 seconds. Instead of walking away, I engaged. I engaged with others who are non-believers. Those who are not Christians. Those who have some warped idea of who Christians really are. I was made fun of for "pretending" to be a Christian on Facebook. For being that "little Jesus girl". But, this is no joke. My God is not one to be "placed on a shelf" to be pulled out on Sunday. No way! I live for Him every day.

It made me question the way I portray my life outwardly to others. Do I portray my life as always full of rainbows and butterflies? It is not. I have so much joy in my life and I want to share it with others because there is nothing that brings greater joy than when you open up your heart and the Holy Spirit begins to show you the plan that God has for your life. At the same time, the road is not always easy. We are humans with beating hearts and when we start to follow Christ, sometimes the enemy strikes. Asking for forgiveness gives us the ability to let it go, like a helium balloon. It's important to remember, not to try to fight or engage with the enemy. God fights the fight for us when we put our trust in Him.

"Cast your cares on the LORD 

and he will sustain you; 

he will never let the righteous fall."
~ Psalm 55:22

There is some misconception from others that Christians are perfect people. But, we are still human. I am still human. I am me. I still get angry. I still have pain. I still hurt people. I say mean things and I fail Him every day. The difference is, that I am made whole again because I live in Him and He lives in me. 

I am standing in my truths today. Some days are harder than others. My truth on Thursday was not pretty. My truth today, is one of clarity, of joy and a profound knowledge of who I am in Christ and who He is in me.

A friend pointed me to this today from Proverbs 31 Ministries. She knew it was a perfect fit to help heal my heart and to remind me that I am seeking the approval of God and not the approval of other people.

"Today I will be a woman who quiets my heart & mind at the throne of God. Instead of replaying the words of others, I'll meditate on His Word. I'll follow God's instruction, despite how much it might go against my human desires. And I'll trust that He knows best."

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

~ Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

Stay tuned for some ways to stay FUELED so that you are ready for what God has for you. 

Blessings,

Dana