A Part of Something

I've been told recently by two different people that I should start a blog; most recently by my new found friend Angie who also blogs but heard that I had chronicled on FB my move from Georgia to Iowa with my husband's company. It helped me get through the roller coaster of emotions that comes along with moving 1,000 miles from home with 3 kids to a brand new town and a brand new life. So, here goes...

I've been in Iowa for 2 months now and I'm beginning to really settle in. I've been a stay at home mom or (work at home mom as I prefer it) since I had my third child who is almost 2. I got out of the real estate/banking business when he was born and right when the market started to tank, so it was perfect timing. I knew he would be my last and I can honestly say I haven't missed a thing and I've enjoyed every last minute of being home with him. Since I moved though I have had a strong urge to be a part of something again. Maybe it's the new town, a fresh start, wanting people to know me and who I am and what I'm about. My husband isn't pushing me hard to go back to work although we do have a new mortgage, a daughter going to college this year (back in GA) and two growing boys to feed. I feel like I should pull my weight in the financial department but will I lose the flexibility to take time off when I need it if the kids are sick and such? And is it really enough for me to merely be present when the kids get home from school? I'm not the teacher my mom was so I'm not sure how much I'm contributing in that department either. I really struggle with that. Why can't I just work part time at a flower shop or be a home decorator? That would be fun! Or boy would I like to start my own business. Maybe a home furnishings thrift shop. I would call it Dana Carol's Design Consign. Hey, a girl can dream but it would be very consuming of my time and energy. I want to feel like I'm contributing in some way without over extending myself as I have in the past. I was always volunteering for non-profit organizations, planning committees, working, being a mother and a wife and then wishing I hadn't gotten so overly involved. I remember seeing a refrigerator magnet once that read "Shoot Me If I Volunteer Again!". I wanted to scream it to the world as much as I wanted to volunteer yet again. Now, it's almost the opposite. I'm not sure I am a part of anything right now. It's also at the very root of who I am to have "balance". Thus, the Libra in me. So maybe this blog is more about that; wanting to be a part of something important where I'm making a difference but keeping it in balance with all of my other responsibilities. I don't want to put all of my eggs in one basket and then feel like I've fallen short in another department. Ahhh...balance...always searching...ever eluding. Maybe I'm just blabbing about an age old dilemma that all moms have. Thoughts anyone?