As the dog days of summer are here and the new school year is approaching, I smile at the warm memories from the last few weeks. What a fabulous summer; full of vacations, pool time, bon fires and staying up late; oh, and potty training my last little one before he starts preschool in a few weeks. He just turned three but I was beginning to think he would still be running around in diapers in Kindergarten!
I’ve been feeling like such a failure with this one. My other two children started daycare at a younger age and it seemed easier as they followed the other little ones in their class like good little ducklings. I really didn’t have to do much here at home when it came to potty training. It was just part of their daily routine. That was just it, routine. Now, here I am at home with this one and failing miserably at potty training. This “Mommy” thing seems a lot harder when you’re the only one being the teacher. I have a whole new respect for daycare workers. There are just those who are gifted in that area. What we have been lacking here at home is routine. I also couldn’t figure out how to incorporate potty training with four hour car trips here and there and all over the state of Iowa and Wisconsin. But frankly, I was truly just not ready to do the work. Father, give me the help that You have promised to those who ask it, that I may overcome my fears and go bravely forward.
Fill me with courage, that nothing which is my duty to do, may be too hard for me. Let me put my trust in Your power and goodness.
It’s amazing what prayer and some re-focus can do when it comes to completing a task. I admit I needed help! I’m not the most goal oriented person. I admire those who are.
So, with the busy summer I haven’t thought much about the fact that my little one is starting preschool in a few weeks. It brings a tear to my eye while at the same time a feeling of excitement about what’s ahead. I also feel a sense of nervousness that in a few weeks he will be influenced by people that I do not yet know and other children whose parents I do not yet know. Did I mention that I have control issues?
Up until this point I have been the one to choose who my little one plays with and where his influences come from. I’m so nervous about how others will influence my little guy. I’m reminded that I must put my whole trust in the One who is writing a bigger story for him. Let’s face it there are just some areas where we as parents are not skilled; whether it’s education, health, or athletics. Enter the Orange Factor. This is covered in a wonderful book for parents called Parenting Beyond Your Capacity by: Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof.
The color, red, represents the unconditional love of the family. The color, yellow, represents a light that comes from a larger community of faith. According to the book, "When those two influences combine efforts to influence a child, the results are transformational. “When you think Orange, you see that two combined influences make a greater impact than just two influences (mom & dad).”On page 32, it states “We use the color orange to symbolize what it means to parent beyond your capacity. It is just one way to visually remind parents why they need other influences in the lives of their children. If you trust someone else to help teach your daughter math, you are thinking Orange. If you depend on a coach to show your son how to throw a football, you are thinking Orange. You are tapping into another influence besides your own to make a greater impact.”
Well, this puts things in perspective. The idea is one of balance; parents being the permanent influence and others (teachers, coaches, etc.) being temporary influences but still critical to your child’s overall development.
One day last week in getting ready for nap time with my little one he pulls out a book from his shelf and of all ironies it’s a book about a raccoon who is going off to school for the first time, sad to leave his mommy and scared of the unknown. It’s called The Kissing Hand by: Audrey Penn.
It’s such a sweet story about a special way for the little raccoon to carry his mommy’s love with him to school every day. After the story is finished, my little Ayden rolls over on his pillow, puts his little hands together and says, “Thank you God”. How precious that he recognized that it was a tender moment that needed to include God. In that instant I am reminded that I am a permanent influence on him whether good or bad, and here at home with me is where it begins. I am also reminded that I am called to widen my circle of influence on my children and must put my trust in Him to help provide a community that will help me parent beyond my capacity.
Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you.
1 Chronicles 28:20
